No, there is so much more than that….
Too many times there are many articles and post with a negative outlook on what it is like having a newborn, toddler, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 or even a zoo full of kids. My goal is to give an all access look at the good, the bad and the awesome!
Of course each household is different, heck each day here is different. Ideal days with all 5 on their best behavior, dog letting himself out, no T.V. taken away from husband, sleeping in for me past 9 AM and Chores done by a magical maid.
They do Happen!!!
Then there are normal-most day….I am up at 5 AM, Marine hubby is either working 20 hours that day or deployed, 4 kids at school, 1 dreaming of going but in the mean time making the most of Pre-School, dog not letting himself out but at least letting us know, myself at work 8-10 hours during the day, homework, arguing, nit-picking, monopoly playing, family time, dinner time and bed time–
NEXT DAY REPEAT!
My son once asked if I ever thought I had “Too Many Kids”, since according to him, he will be having only 3 and they will be 2 boys and 1 girl. Without a moment of hesitation I said “No. That I always knew I wanted 4 kids, so with 5 I got an extra special bonus of a Blessing.” Now ironically my husband did not have that same dream, nor did we discuss it prior to getting married. He is 1 of 7 children so for him ONE child seemed just perfect!
God has a sense of humor!
His 1 and my 4 maybe God thought he would add that together and bam Welcome To The Stone Family! Whatever his reasoning is, God has a lot more faith in my patients and sanity than I do. And if you are wondering if we are going to try for another here is my answer:
Another question I am often asked is “Which was easier going from 1 child to 2, or 2 on up?” Truthfully It was easier going from 1 child to 2 than 0 to 1. After 2 it really was “what is one more?” IN A VERY LOVING WAY!!!
That is another key point about Surviving 5 Kids or 1. Is being okay with all the crazy thoughts and feelings that hit you them moment they are born! From HOW COULD I EVER GET MAD AT YOU? From my experience that is said with only the 1st child and very very very very early on!
“I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL YOU CAN WALK”. Now I did for a while think how funny it would be if newborns were born able to walk. A Ruler high mini me cruising around the house chasing me to feed him. Add in him saying “FEED ME” and the movie Chuckie would have been a hell of a lot more scary. But parenting as with growing up it is a learning processes. That is why at the end of the Umbilical Cord it is only the Placenta not an actual HOW TO RAISE ME book.
The more challenging of raising kids for me have been there QUESTIONS. When every mom passes down the cruse of “I HOPE YOU HAVE ONE JUST LIKE YOU” we usually at the age we begin hearing that think “THAT WILL BE AWESOME!” Again reality and God have a sense of humor that causes us to sigh and shake our heads. My oldest spared me the jaw clinching questions of life and body parts, but my 3rd son made up for his 2 older brothers 1000 fold. From “Does sex really mean boy or girl mom, cause kids on the bus said you were lying”, “WHAT HAPPEN TO MEGAN’S PEEPEE (yes it was hard for me back then to teach them the correct body part name)? WILL HER’S GROW IN?” “WHEN WILL I GET HAIR UNDER MY ARMS?” — at least that one was tame. “MOM SINCE DAD IS DEPLOYED CAN I TAKE SEX ED? AND WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO TEACH ME?” — Luckily George returned home in time to sit down with the boys for that talk….I would have been useless and brought out my Therapy Puppets I use with my clients. I am an Adolescent/Child Addiction & Trauma Therapist part-time. Something about your own kids and the “sex talk” is way different than working with or talking to others.
I did not grow up in an “open” house where sex and or body parts were talked about. My mom didn’t ask me if I wanted to learn about the “Birds and bees” until 2 days after I WAS ALREADY PREGNANT!! FIGURED IT OUT MOM x6!! (yes only have 5 kids living) And only having had 1 sibling and that being a girl I was not at all prepared for a NEWBORN BOY. I understood men’s natural reactions BUT A DAY OLD BABY BOY???!!!! Not to mention he found it funny…..I kept pushing it down, it would not go. Seemed the more I pushed it down the faster it would pop up. My gosh did he have to giggle to? Of course calling George (husband) to tell him what the SITUATION was, NO HELP! He died laughing and hung up!
So I called my mom, made sense when a new young mom needs advice she calls her mom. Well she was no help either. Apparently I was the only one at the time that did not see the humor in this. Google wasn’t really around, Yahoo was not that informative.
Her defense was “Heather how could I warn you about that when I only had 2 girls?!” Oh well thanks. So after she too hung up on me laughing I did what any mom would do and folded his “PEEPEE” up warded and put on the diaper. Nature would take it’s course and it would shrink, RIGHT?
He went from laughing to screaming and crying. Now at this point I really was at a lost. So I picked him up and held him tight and padded his back. HE DID NOT STOP. Now you might be asking “HOW OLD WERE YOU?” Okay I was 20 years old, looking back yes I probably should have realized that he was very uncomfortable but that is what you call the NEW MOM BRAIN (which gradually turns into The Mom Brain). Yes I did figure it out and felt bad.
Never repeated it and now the story gets passed down with tears dripping in everyone’s eyes from laughter.
Being a parent is all about the mistakes and learning experiences you go through and make. No mom has all the answers and no mom is perfect. So don’t feel bad when you make a mistake or 2 or 100. Surviving “Momhood”, is just that surviving not mastering. Goal of course can be to Master “Momhood” but just as you help your kids learn from their mistake, moms need to help lift up and support each other. Even if it is laughing until they have to hang up on you, you will one day be that mom too.
How do I survive 5 kids & survive momhood?
Knowing each is a new day, each day if they survive is great and 16 years of being a mom just being able to laugh and have even a sliver of sanity left I am doing okay