19

The Bathroom Door-

Ah the days when the bathroom door was solely there to give you privacy from the outside world, in other words SHUT! Might have been a revolving door in some homes with large families and often slammed if there was only one that was meant to be shared with you and anyone other than you. But it was constantly shut and often locked, let our siblings bang all they want, they are not getting in while I take my 45 minute unnecessary shower! We depended on the door to do its job and remain shut when we shut it, locked when we locked it and prayed it is not made out of thin particle board.

We slowly realize the bathroom door will now longer be used much and then even a stage not used at all once our little ones arrive. Even in the hospital just prior to birth, it can be a challenge to shut it. Good luck trying to get the IV pole in there or after you give birth your maternal instincts kick in some probably kept the door open slightly “just in case”. Then we arrive home!! It is almost as if the bathroom doors have magically removed themselves in advance of our arrival. THEY KNOW! ~~By child 3 they stay on~~

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When our idea of being pampered is being able to use the restroom in private or in peace we know we have reached the status of being a MOM! When we do shut the door for the first time “on them” their reactions are priceless. HOW DARE SHE!

Little fingers appear under the door frame, trying to see if they can reach us or finding a weak spot for later bathroom uses.

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Cold tile will not stop a toddler who wants in, they will sit in front of the shut door waiting……and waiting for US.

Sometimes screaming and crying, other times talking to us and the moments I would worry most about — for myself– was when they would sit there facing the door BEING QUIET! You know their brain is thinking, turning inside. And when we open the door it is the same reaction we receive when we get home and our dog greets us…..no concept of time, they are just pure happy to see us.

My little boys who would once do this are now teens, they respect me and never do this now. Now my girls, 5 & 6 they will instead  yell LOUD from way outside my bedroom door, MOM CAN I GET A CHEESE STICK?     MOM THE BOYS ARE FIGHTING.        MOM CAN I COME IN?        MOM WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO BE DONE?       MOM I AM HUNGRY.        MOM….. MOM….. MOM….. MOM…..

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“CAN YOU WAIT UNTIL I AM OUT? HECK THE DOOR IS SHUT!!!”

“OKAY MOM I WILL WAIT RIGHT HERE FOR YOU.”  they do, they just check in every 2.1 seconds. LOL.

Oh bathroom door I took you for granted for decades and now I just wish I could afford a sound proof one.

 

 

6

(a tiny bit of) What it is really like having 5 kids!

Tiring!

____END POST____

 

No, there is so much more than that….

Too many times there are many articles and post with a negative outlook on what it is like having a newborn, toddler, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 or even a zoo full of kids. My goal is to give an all access look at the good, the bad and the awesome!

Of course each household is different, heck each day here is different. Ideal days with all 5 on their best behavior, dog letting himself out, no T.V. taken away from husband, sleeping in for me past 9 AM and Chores done by a magical maid.

They do Happen!!!

 Then there are normal-most day….I am up at 5 AM, Marine hubby is either working 20 hours that day or deployed, 4 kids at school, 1 dreaming of going but in the mean time making the most of Pre-School, dog not letting himself out but at least letting us know, myself at work  8-10 hours during the day, homework, arguing, nit-picking, monopoly playing, family time, dinner time and bed time–

NEXT DAY REPEAT!

My son once asked if I ever thought I had “Too Many Kids”, since according to him, he will be having only 3 and they will be 2 boys and 1 girl. Without a moment of hesitation I said “No. That I always knew I wanted 4 kids, so with 5 I got an extra special bonus of a Blessing.” Now ironically my husband did not have that same dream, nor did we discuss it prior to getting married. He is 1 of 7 children so for him ONE child seemed just perfect!

God has a sense of humor!

His 1 and my 4 maybe God thought he would add that together and bam Welcome To The Stone Family! Whatever his reasoning is, God has a lot more faith in my patients and sanity than I do. And if you are wondering if we are going to try for another here is my answer:

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Another question I am often asked is “Which was easier going from 1 child to 2, or 2 on up?” Truthfully It was easier going from 1 child to 2 than 0 to 1. After 2 it really was “what is one more?” IN A VERY LOVING WAY!!!

That is another key point about Surviving 5 Kids or 1. Is being okay with all the crazy thoughts and feelings that hit you them moment they are born! From HOW COULD I EVER GET MAD AT YOU? From my experience that is said with only the 1st child and very very very very early on!

“I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL YOU CAN WALK”. Now I did for a while think how funny it would be if newborns were born able to walk. A Ruler high mini me cruising around the house chasing me to feed him. Add in him saying “FEED ME” and the movie Chuckie would have been a hell of a lot more scary. But parenting as with growing up it is a learning processes. That is why at the end of the Umbilical Cord it is only the Placenta not an actual HOW TO RAISE ME book.

The more challenging of raising kids for me have been there QUESTIONS. When every mom passes down the cruse of “I HOPE YOU HAVE ONE JUST LIKE YOU” we usually at the age we begin hearing that think “THAT WILL BE AWESOME!” Again reality and God have a sense of humor that causes us to sigh and shake our heads. My oldest spared me the jaw clinching questions of life and body parts, but my 3rd son made up for his 2 older brothers 1000 fold. From “Does sex really mean boy or girl mom, cause kids on the bus said you were lying”, “WHAT HAPPEN TO MEGAN’S PEEPEE (yes it was hard for me back then to teach them the correct body part name)? WILL HER’S GROW IN?” “WHEN WILL I GET HAIR UNDER MY ARMS?” — at least that one was tame. “MOM SINCE DAD IS DEPLOYED CAN I TAKE SEX ED? AND WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO TEACH ME?” — Luckily George returned home in time to sit down with the boys for that talk….I would have been useless and brought out my Therapy Puppets I use with my clients. I am an Adolescent/Child Addiction & Trauma Therapist part-time. Something about your own kids and the “sex talk” is way different than working with or talking to others.  

I did not grow up in an “open” house where sex and or body parts were talked about. My mom didn’t ask me if I wanted to learn about the “Birds and bees” until 2 days after I WAS ALREADY PREGNANT!! FIGURED IT OUT MOM x6!! (yes only have 5 kids living) And only having  had 1 sibling and that being a girl I was not at all prepared for a NEWBORN BOY. I understood men’s natural reactions BUT A DAY OLD BABY BOY???!!!! Not to mention he found it funny…..I kept pushing it down, it would not go. Seemed the more I pushed it down the faster it would pop up. My gosh did he have to giggle to? Of course calling George (husband) to tell him what the SITUATION was,  NO HELP! He died laughing and hung up!

So I called my mom, made sense when a new young mom needs advice she calls her mom. Well she was no help either. Apparently I was the only one at the time that did not see the humor in this.  Google wasn’t really around, Yahoo was not that informative.

Her defense was “Heather how could I warn you about that when I only had 2 girls?!” Oh well thanks. So after she too hung up on me laughing I did what any mom would do and folded his “PEEPEE” up warded and put on the diaper. Nature would take it’s course and it would shrink, RIGHT?

WRONG!

  He went from laughing to screaming and crying. Now at this point I really was at a lost. So I picked him up and held him tight and padded his back. HE DID NOT STOP. Now you might be asking “HOW OLD WERE YOU?” Okay I was 20 years old, looking back yes I probably should have realized that he was very uncomfortable but that is what you call the NEW MOM BRAIN (which gradually turns into The Mom Brain). Yes I did figure it out and felt bad.

Never repeated it and now the story gets passed down with tears dripping in everyone’s eyes from laughter.

      Being a parent is all about the mistakes and learning experiences you go through and make. No mom has all the answers and no mom is perfect. So don’t feel bad when you make a mistake  or 2 or 100. Surviving “Momhood”, is just that surviving not mastering. Goal of course can be to Master “Momhood” but just as you help your kids learn from their mistake, moms need to help lift up and support each other. Even if it is laughing until they have to hang up on you, you will one day be that mom too.

How do I survive 5 kids & survive momhood?

Knowing each is a new day, each day if they survive is great and 16 years of being a mom just being able to laugh and have even a sliver of sanity left I am doing okay

1

Believe you me……

Growing up in a house where I was told there was no such thing as being “bored” and if I was there was always something my folks managed to find for me to do I promised myself, “When I am a mom I will never be like that!!” OH OH OH, have I eaten those words over a 1000+ times. Now with 5 kids of my own, I write this with a slight “grin” I can always find something for them to do! It truly is amazing how quickly I can come up with ideas yet they cannot until I do! 🙂

My older ones have now learned that even if we lived in a cardboard box with nothing at all I could still find something for them to do! Every now and again they will say “UGHHH I am soo bored! There is nothing to do in this house!” Magically I appear with “I know what you can do……” and in a flash they are no longer bored!! As they are sweeping, or organizing they will at times ask “how do you hear us when you are on the other side of the house?”

To which I have always replied:

I SEE ALL, HEAR ALL AND KNOW ALL THAT GOES ON IN THIS HOUSE– truthfully their whisper tone is actually pretty loud haha!

What do you do when your kids say “I am bored” or “There is nothing to do”

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1

The Easiest and Most Confusing Game Ever

I love playing with my two girls, which are 6 and 4 but there is a game they often ask me to play that is very easy but so darn confusing.

“Let’s Play Mommy & Daughter”

At first I assumed I was to be the daughter, after all I am the mom all the time so wouldn’t make much sense for me to “pretend” to be that role in a game…..right? WRONG! In this game I am to be Mommy and my daughters are to “pretend” to be my daughters. Following? Now you really would think this game would be fun, but it is cute, easy and confusing but fun, not so much. I am this role, so my naturally one would think I would be good at this role. Apparently not. During the handful of times we play I am often corrected, “No mom (which mom is getting the NO?) you are not doing it right”, “Mom say this……” Mom drive like this (showing me the TV /Movie way).”

The confusing part kicks in is when the REAL mom has to do something or use her MOM VOICE to my 3 older boys, when does the game actually end? I learned that the hard way the first time we played. Boy, it was a flash back to the game I played as a child and now my older ones do to annoy each other–Copy Cat, as the girls would follow me around and somewhat do what I did, and slyly ask me to do something for them that would not normally take place in the afternoon e.g. “Will you cover us for our nap?” Don’t have to ask me twice 😉 ~~No judging, come back after baby #5 and we will chat, heck or #3!! The game is over it turns out only when I say these exact words (which of course I did not know since playing games with kids rules are made up as they go and often changed in the mist of playing–so stay alert) “Okay, daughters Mommy has to go now and fly home!” That would explain why Super Woman and Super Mom both wear capes and are never seen together–they are one person! Who Knew!

 

~~What did we learn today? That a child’s imagination is one of wonderment and without nourishment and encouragement it will not reach its full potential. Also that Pretends Moms’ like Real Moms’ at times need to be corrected and reminded that every game has a start and an end.~~